


Everything I Do Returns To You Somehow

by zwischenimmerundnie



Series: The Only Thing [1]
Category: Armie Hammer - Fandom, Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF, Timothée Chalamet - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Attraction, Divorce, M/M, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-28 21:18:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13912392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zwischenimmerundnie/pseuds/zwischenimmerundnie
Summary: The year is 2023, Armie Hammer and Timothée Chalamet haven´t seen or talked to one another in nearly three long years, but one afternoon in a snowy Berlin can change everything. Reunited, older and wiser, they´ll have the opportunity to talk things through and adress things they had kept it to themselves for years.





	Everything I Do Returns To You Somehow

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit different than what I usually write, specially the major slow burn.  
> This will be part of a series, I can promise at least two more parts, but let´s see how it goes.
> 
> The tittle comes from Sufjan Steven´s song, The Only Thing.
> 
>  
> 
> follow me on tumblr if you want!

It was 2023, almost five exact years prior, Call Me By Your Name had –unsurprisingly- lost the Best Picture Award at the Oscars to The Shape of Water. Almost five exact years prior, Armie and Timothée –unknowingly- stood together on a red carpet for the very last time. Once the promo tour and all the awards were done, both men found themselves drifting away, not because they wanted to or because suddenly they hatted each other –it was actually easy for anyone to see they were far from that-, but because life is merciless and decided they should go on their separate ways. On the summer of 2018, Armie and Timothée still managed to spend some weeks together while the blonde man rehearsed for his first Broadway play; that was the last time they spent some quality time together. When mid-June fell upon them, Timothée left for the UK, where he had a film to shoot and from them on nothing was the same.

When one was in New York, the other was in Los Angeles, when one had an award to attend, the other an important family matter to take care, when one was in the USA, the other was working on Russia; they had become the most wanted actors in Hollywood and that, combined with family and personal issues, brought them apart. No one was ready for it, no one saw it coming; one day they were Armie&Timothée, inseparable co-stars, with a slightly unusual friendship; the other they were Armie and Timothée, two acquaintances, who never had the time to be alone, talk, to try and fix what life had broken. Did they have their fair share of guilt in how things went down? Sure, but at the moment, neither one of them actually thought things would go down the way it did.

The last time they saw each other was two years after the Oscar, when they found themselves on the same party; they tried back then to talk, but in the end had to suffice for a warm smile from across the room. Their relationship was broken, but they never forgot one another, though; Armie always made sure he knew what Timothée was up to, he enjoyed seeing that young man he met back in Crema grow to a very mature man and respected artist. Timothée also kept a close look on everything Armie related, barely containing his excitement when the older man finally started being recognized by his talent and growing extremely surprise when he saw the news of his divorce.

Back in early 2018, they were practically one entity, you couldn´t get Timothée without Armie and vice versa; in 2023 all that was left was a dreadful feeling of longing and nostalgia.

 

**_Timothée_ **

****

It was early March; Timothée was in Berlin for a few appearances, interviews and photo shoots, the usual. He had been in the city two times prior, the first with Armie right in the beginning of the Call Me By Your Name press tour. The thought sure caused a warm feeling to overtake Timothée; he still cherished every single memory he had with the older man. He was sure he would never forget Armie and the time they spent around one another, but Timothée also had a sense of sorrow whenever those thoughts came to him. It was hard for him to see a future where he and Armie were back in each other´s life; they had been apart for way too long.

When Timothée was done with his responsibilities, he quickly made his way out of the hotel he was staying and wandered around the city; Berlin was so full of history, he really enjoyed that. The streets were all crowded, despite the snow, and Timothée was standing in the Pariser Platz, right in front of the Brandenburg Gate when he saw the man walk past him. He couldn´t believe his eyes and so, for a good few seconds, he just watched him; but it was indeed him, after so long, he was standing just a few feet away from him. He debated with himself on whether to say something or not, but as it usually happened with him, the word simply escaped his lips.

“Armie?”

 

**_Armie_ **

****

Armie was in Berlin for last then twelve hours. He left the airport straight to the hotel and then proceeded to engage in an interview that lasted way longer than he could have expected. As his newest film approached it´s release, he found himself in Germany for some promo and took his free time to visit the city. It had been a while since he last stepped in the country; he couldn´t remember exactly when was the last time, but he could remember perfectly the time he was there with Timothée. Just the thought of the younger man made Armie feel uneasy; he hated how their relationship had gone down the drain and he couldn´t help but blame himself. A part of him always wondered why he didn´t try harder to keep the younger man around. God knows he wanted.

The minute Armie stepped in the Pariser Platz, he regretted his decision; the place was crowded, thousands of people walking around, or even worst, standing around so they could take a closer and proper look at the Brandenburg Gate. He too stopped for a second, but quickly returned to his fast pace; he didn´t even look around or else he would have caught a glimpse of the brunette standing just a few feet away from him. When his name was called, though, he stopped immediately; that voice was carved on his brain from the minute he first heard it nearly seven years prior to that afternoon. Not believing his ears, Armie turned around and there he was, standing just a few feet away from him. After nearly three years without seeing the man, Armie was once again standing right in front of Timothée;

“Timmy, is that you?”

 

**_Armie &Timothée_ **

****

“Timmy, is that you”, asked Armie, his deep voice echoing in the crowded streets as both men stared at one another. They were face to face, but there was still a distance between them, if it was unintentional or for self-preservation, neither of them really knew. Timothée didn´t even notice, but a smile came to his lips as he heard the name Timmy; no one had called him that in ages and, even back then, Armie was pretty much the only one who still did it. It was kind of their thing.

“No one has called me Timmy in years, but yeah, it´s me”. Armie nodded, of course no one called him that anymore, he was a grown man, he wasn´t the young guy he met back in Crema, that didn´t even know how to ride a bicycle properly. “Old habits I guess, I am sorry,” said Armie as Timothée shook his head. How dare him apologize for something Timothée longed for years, cuz he did, even if he didn´t notice.

“No need to apologize, it kind of takes me back,” explained the younger as Armie felt himself smile. A few minutes of silence followed; a silence that was bound to happen after everything they had gone through, after all the years apart. Timothée looked at Armie, taking in the sight; the man was older, one or two creases showing up on the corner of his eyes, but his smile, the glow in his eyes and his posture remained the same; Armie was still the handsome Hollywood star he had always been. The older man did the exact same thing, looking at Timothée, he realized the brunette cultivated that same young like features he had when they met, but there was no doubt this was a more mature version of Timothée.

The brunette was the one to finally break the silence between them and with it, also the distance; “what are you doing here,” he asked as Armie sighed heavily. Always so dramatic. “I had an interview today and I got some promo stuff to do tomorrow,” he explained, “I believe it´s the same for you?”

“Yes, but I have done everything already, I´ll leave tomorrow afternoon.” Another moment of silence; in Timothée´s head, the thought of him and Armie being in the same city for at least a couple of hours was the only thing left. If they could find a way to make things work, to get back to any kind of relationship, that was it. That was their moment.

“Do you have anywhere to be,” asked Armie, suddenly gaining the confidence to talk again and make the best out of this opportunity. When Timothée shook his head, Armie smiled, “maybe we could have a cup of coffee?”

Hesitation, fear, excitement, Timothée wasn´t sure of what he was feeling, but that was a common thing when he was around Armie, “that would be great.”

 

**_Timothée_ **

****

Their walk to the coffee shop was quiet, neither one of them really knew how to start a conversation; what grounds could they step on, what was acceptable after so many years? Timothée didn´t feel awkward though, at least not as much as he expected. Whenever he thought about how it would be to see Armie again, he had always thought things would be terrible, they would barely be able to look each other in the eye; but there they were, side by side in the streets of Berlin.

It didn´t take long for them to find a quiet place where they could sit and talk –or at least try to- in peace. Armie made it to the register first and when he proceeded to order Timothée´s coffee, the brunette couldn´t contain his smile. He remembered. Armie still knew the type of coffee he liked and that brought a sense of happiness to Timothée he hadn´t felt in years.

“You still remember,” he said while they made their way to a table; when Armie looked at him, there was a smirk creeping on the corner of his lips, although his eyes remained serious. “I remember everything,” was what he said and Timothée laughed, but the idea of their lives mirroring their film felt scary.

Suddenly Armie turned serious again, “how you doing, Timmy,” he asked as Timothée sighed. The real talk, the serious conversation was what he feared the most. He didn´t want this to go to waste though and so, he started talking, letting Armie in on everything that had happened to him for the past few years; work, family, struggles, the fear of never finding a role as great as Elio and of course his relationships. That part in particular was one that he struggled with; to talk about the people he had hooked up with and dated with Armie felt weird and not because of the time apart, but because it was Armie and all those people he had been with were not.

 

**_Armie_ **

****

 “You still remember,” Timothée said to him and Armie wanted to look him in the eye and say that yes, he remembered every single thing about their relationship, cuz that´s how important to him Timothée was. But he didn´t feel like that was the right moment, so he resorted for a joke, a nod to the film that once brought them together; “I remember everything,” he said with a smirk, although his eyes were serious, as if telling Timothée the true.

Timothée laughed and Armie could tell that laugh held so many different emotions; Timothée was still the same, all the emotions right there, for anyone to see. “How you doing, Timmy,” he asked, suddenly serious; he missed Timothée, he wanted to cherish this moment they were having together and listen as the young man blabbered about his life.

And that´s exactly what he did; he sat there, coffee in hand, eyes on Timothée and ears well aware of everything that left the man´s lips. Armie could even tell when he suddenly got nervous, stuttering as he talked about his past relationships. That was a subject they never really discussed much; while they were in each other´s lives, Timothée had some flings, but never a serious relationship. A part of Armie always wondered why, the other part of Armie, the one that didn´t lie to itself, knew exactly why.

Realizing the struggle on Timothée´s side, Armie quickly changed the subject and let the conversation focus on him. They talked about his films, the fact the media seemed to cut him some slack after Call Me By Your Name, the awards he had won. They also talked about Harper and Ford, Armie gushing about his kids was definitely a lovely sight; he just felt so proud of them, that his blue eyes seemed to sparkle at the mention of their names. He showed Timothée photos of them, the younger perplex at how big they were and how Ford resembled Armie.

“They are so big,” Timothée spoke with tenderness and Armie knew that, he had always liked the kids, he and Harper had got along since day one. But talking about the kids lead them to a topic Armie knew it couldn´t be left unspoken, “I have to say, I was really surprised with the divorce.”

“You were,” asked Armie as Timothée nodded, “guess we were better liars then we thought.” He could see the confusion on Timothée´s eyes, “things were not good between us even before you and I drifted away, we tried to make it work, but it was for nothing; there was no place left for our relationship anymore.”

“That sucks,” said Timothée as Armie shrugged his shoulders. Truth was he got married too young, there were things he wished he could have done before settling with someone, there were people he wished he had met. “Relationships are like this, Timothée, sometimes they fail, I mean, look at us.”

Timothée shook his head, “our relationship was different,” he stated and then was time for Armie to shake his head; he leaned closer, a dead serious look on his eyes, “I don´t think so, Timothée, it was all there,” he started, “the companionship, the trust, the attraction.”

 

**_Armie &Timothée_ **

****

The attraction. The minute that word left Armie´s lips, Timothée had to do everything in his power not to melt down. Had he been attracted to Armie back in the day? Yes, there was no point in denying that anymore; did he ever believe Armie to feel the same? Sometimes, but those thoughts never lasted more than a few minutes; Armie was married to a beautiful wide, had great kids, how would Timothée ever think that he wasn´t the only one nurturing those feelings?

It took him more time than expected to regain his composure, to be able to speak; “what are you talking about, Armie,” he chose to ask rather than agree. He needed to know if Armie meant exactly what he thought he did or if this was just wishful thinking.

“I´m talking about the fact we never had a conventional friendship, Timmy, because it was always more than just a simple friendship; maybe neither one of us wanted to admit, maybe neither one of us understood exactly what we felt until it was too late, but we both know there was something else there.”

Timothée could feel a shiver run down his spine. After years he and Armie were finally addressing what so many people had already discussed. “I never knew you felt the way I did,” he explained, “not that I would have had the courage to speak, though, you were married, you were happy.”

“I wasn´t happy,” he stated as Timothée sighed, “but that´s not the point.” Armie licked his lips, his hands were sweating despite the cold weather, he was nervous as hell, but he knew this conversation was too important. God knows what would happen with them once they left that coffee shop; they could be separated for five more years and if that was the case, Armie would end up hating himself if he had missed an important opportunity. “We should have talked, whether anything would happen or not, is another story, but we should have been honest with each other and ourselves.”

“I never lied to myself, Armie, from the minute I laid eyes on you, the minute we shared our first words I knew that what I felt for you was more than just a friendship, but how could I say anything, how could I risk all we had?”

Armie had a small smile on his lips, “and look where that got us; I did the exact same thing, thinking that if I kept myself quiet, I wouldn´t risk scaring you and ruining what we had, yet I didn´t realize life was already pushing us away.” Armie shook his head, just the thought of all the time they wasted, all the things they didn´t say, it hurt him; “I was mad at myself for so long, I thought what happened with us was all my fault.”

Timothée sighed, apparently he still knew Armie quite well; the man had a habit for self-loathing –which was something Timothée shared with him-, it wasn´t at all surprising that he would think something like that. With a small smile on his lips, Timothée reached forward and took Armie´s hand in his; for the first time in years they were touching, it felt electric, it felt warming and soothing. “None of us was to blame for what happened, Armie, we tried to keep contact, it just didn´t work and probably cuz it wasn´t supposed to work,” Armie nodded, his thumb rubbing the back of Timothée´s hand; “life had other plans for us, I mean look at this, what were the odds that after years, we´d suddenly bump into each other in the middle of a crowded square in Berlin?”

Armie smiled. He remained quiet for a few seconds, his grip on Timothée´s hand tightening as he let his eyes roam from their hands to the brunette´s eyes. He couldn´t even begin to express how glad he was he and Timothée had managed to sit down and talk. “Thank you for agreeing to talk to me, Timmy, after all this time I really didn´t know what to expect.”

“I hate to admit this, cuz I feel like it makes me look weak, but when it comes to you, Armie, there´s absolutely nothing I´d say no to.”

It was hard to tell which one of them was most affected by the confession; Timothée, who had to bare himself in front of Armie or Armie, who just then realized the effect he had over Timothée. “It´s dark already,” practically mumbled Armie as he looked out of the window and not because he didn´t know how to proceed after such confession, but because there was so much to say, he wouldn´t even know where to start.

“Look, I have to go, I promised to call Pauline; I´ll be heading over to France tomorrow to see her, so I need to discuss some things,” explained Timothée as Armie nodded his head, a slightly disappointed look on his face; “but maybe we could meet up tomorrow before I have to leave?”

“Of course we could,” reassured Armie, “I´d be stupid to let an opportunity like this one go to waste,” Timothée rolled his eyes at the way Armie so exaggeratedly talked, he was still the same; the older man chuckled, “I´m staying at the Adlon Kempinski, maybe you could stop by and…,” he stopped as Timothée burst out laughing; Armie was utterly confused.

“You´re staying at the Adlon Kempinski,” asked the younger man as Armie nodded, “that´s the hotel I am staying too,” he explained, a smirk appearing on Armie´s lips at the sudden realization.

They both smiled at one another, tightening their grip on each other´s hand, “guess it was meant to be,” said Armie as Timothée nodded.

 

****

 

Once they realized they were staying in the same hotel –and floor-, there was absolutely no reason for them to part ways yet. Together, side by side, they walked around the street of Berlin until they reached their destination. It was still very strange for both to think how crazy the last couple of hours had turned out to be; neither one of them actually expected to see each other, let alone find time to talk and set things straight. Nature did seem to have cunning ways.

They reached their floor in silence, a pleasant silence that said everything they needed. They wouldn´t let life separate them again. When Timothée reached his bedroom door, he took a while to find his keycard inside his backpack, the proximity of Armie´s body behind him not making things easier, “want some help with that?”

Timothée turned around, about to deliver a very sarcastic remark, but the second he realized Armie was practically pressed against him, nothing else mattered. Their eyes locked and Armie didn´t think twice, he pulled Timothée close, his hand cradling the brunette´s face as their lips met. It took them nearly seven years, but finally, Armie and Timothée shared their first kiss.

“You have no idea how long I´ve been dying to do this,” whispered Armie as their lips parted; they remained close though, foreheads pressed together as Timothée smiled. “Probably the same amount of time that I,” teased Timothée. He smiled at the feeling of Armie´s touch, it felt so warm, so loving; he closed his eyes and felt the older man´s hand slid over to his hair, he inhaled deeply.

The look on Timothée´s face was to die for and Armie couldn´t help himself. He tugged slightly on the younger man´s hair, his lips attacking Timothée´s lips once again, this time in a more urgent, desperate kiss. Their tongues fought for control, Timothée´s hand pressed on Armie´s hips, pulling him impossible close. Their low moans through the kiss were the only sounds one could hear on the hallway. Armie and Timothée had dreamt of a moment like this for years, it was overwhelming to see it finally come to life.

When air was needed, they pulled away, Armie biting on Timothée´s bottom lip, causing him to let a low moan escape his lips. “I´ll let you go and talk to your sister,” said Armie as Timothée licked his lips, “I´ll see you tomorrow.”

“I´ll see you tomorrow,” he whispered back. Timothée looked around him, his backpack now on the floor; he reached for it and looked for his keycard, a much easier task now that all the tension was gone. He opened the door and stepped in, watching as Armie waved at him, before he could close the door.

I´ll see you tomorrow, Armie mumbled to himself, before he turned around, making his way down the hallway and over to his own room. Before he could reach the door, though, he heard his name being called; he turned around and saw Timothée standing by his door, “is everything okay?”

“That depends,” started Timothée as Armie approached him, slightly confused; “would you like to come in,” he asked as Armie smirked, following Timothée inside the room and closing the door behind him.


End file.
